Friday, June 15, 2012

To End All Things

A story of past events.  

The following account tells the tales of a traveler dreaming of glory and fame, of hopes long lost.  Adventurer' of Tyria, come gather round the flickering fire, I have a story to tell. A story of a fool who thought he could save the world.  

BWE2, the Final Event.

Arrives in Plains of Ashford 1:55 AM EST

Come on, I’m tired, this better be better than the last one.  Really, critters for 60 minutes. 
I hope there’s dragons.  Yeah, dragons and PvP. Psh, that won’t happen, probably just critters.



Places in chat, “Jon, thank you so much for creating an amazing game!”

OMG, I hope he replies.

“No problem, thank you for helping us make this the best game possible.”

OMG HE REPLIED! My life is over. /fanboi

Somewhere there is a guy flailing in his chair, squealing with excitement.


When the hell is this event supposed to start?  God, this is going to hurt when I have to wake up tomorrow morning.


Jon:  “There is a slight technical difficulty, we are working through it.  We hope to have the event running soon.”



Jon:  “We are having to activate the event manually for each server, please be patient.



Event begins.

WEJOIRJOFISJFOISFJIDAOSFJAOIF.  It’s beginning. Alright let’s do this shit.  Okay, what do I have to do.  Oh that bar is filling up fast, stop the corruption?

Character runs towards active event.

Oooh, that’s some pretty crystal.  Ooh lets kill those branded things.

Joins group of close to 50 people to take down first event.

This continues for a little while, new event activates, we run and kill nearest crystals.

Chat:  "Look at the sky!"


Looks Up.

God damn chat.  I hate people.  Always getting my hopes up.

Runs to nearest crystal.  A crystal falls from the sky on top of 20 or so characters.  They all become branded.

WTF was that ArenaNet.  That shit cray.  Wait…is that person branded?  OMG, I am staying away from all populated areas, get the f—k off me!

Continues joining an ever dwindling group of players.

O.o there’s an epic crystallized monster let’s attack it. 
Shoots arrows, applies venoms, pew pew.

Waits for health of enemy to move.

Bar refuses to move.

Wait, why am I doing 0 damage.  What the hell that thing is 80!  I’m getting the hell away from here.

At this point thief has become extremely isolated, with only 5-6 players in vicinity.  Newest event occurs, another crystal formation.

Oh God, our group is getting crushed. Wow, I am taking a lot of damage. Okay get the hell out.  Oh god, heals on cooldown, 200 hp.  Bleeding.  120 hp.  Bleeding. 40 hp. Oh god, just infiltrator’s arrow away.  0 hp. 

Downed state. Uses thief downed move to deaggro, and heals uninhibited.

Wow, that was close.  Wait, where did everyone go? 

I wonder if I die, do I become one of those things?

Realizes he is the sole survivor of original group.

Alright, well it’s up to you buddy.  Let’s save Tyra.

Approaches nearest crystal.

What the hell, I can’t get close to that thing. SO MANY ZOMBIES!  DIE, DIE, DIE!

Okay, I cannot do this, you are not going to die damnit. 

Thief kills nearest 2 zombies and runs, escaping 3 players in the process.

Let’s just stay alive, you can do that.  You have the fricken shortbow, you can outrun anyone near you.  Just stay calm.

Runs to nearest settlement.

Ahh, such a safe area.  Just stay here for a little while.  I’ll regroup and everything will be alright.
Elite gryphon starts walking towards settlement.

Oh hell no, WTF, don’t you come in here.  Oh God, I am trapped.  The only entrance is towards that thing. GUARDS I SUMMON THEE!

Guards of settlement engage Gryphon.  Thief escapes silently.

OMG NOWHERE IS SAFE.  STAY ALIVE ENTOMBED.  YOU CAN DO THIS.  Where the hell is everybody?  Alright, lets make our way to the nearest crystal.

Nearby Mesmer fighting a horde of zombies. 

Alright help her out, and we can work together, and make our way to destroy the crystal.  I’ll be damned if this zone becomes corrupted.

The Thief and Mesmer work as a team taking zombie after zombie down.  They begin to make their way closer to the crystal, closer to encroaching hordes of zombies, risking their lives to put an end to the spreading corruption.

Just a little damn more, we can do this. Good God, when will it end!!!!!

The screen is filled with red zombies. 

We can do this, COME AT ME!

2 second lag, followed by login screen.


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